on the eve of a new year

2009 is almost over, and I can’t help but wonder where it all went. Not only that, but a new decade (as measured by the tens digit) will soon begin. This new year bring a new calendar decade; but the year after it brings a new life decade (!!!!!!!!!!). Two different decades are almost over, and I can’t help but freak out.

I can’t help but wonder, after having made a few trips to the hospital to visit a dear friend, now that I’ve set a course for a new career, whether these last six+ years couldn’t have been better spent. I can’t help but wish I were already in school. At the same time, there are moments when I can’t help but question whether this new path is the right one. A homeless man, barely dressed enough to survive the cold, passed on the sidewalk without batting an eyelash (I’ve seen so many); ten minutes later, a true Good Samaritan comes to his aid, sending for help. Is that kind of indifference incompatible with the profession I hope to join?

For my friend, I can’t help but be thankful for the miracle of his existence; but, reminded of its fragility and of ours as well, I can’t help but remember the close friends I once had, the friendships I’ve since let fall by the wayside (sadly, his among them)–the friendships I now resolve to rekindle and to never take for granted.

And I can’t help but wonder if I’ve accomplished everything I should have by the time I turn 30. Well–as I’ve heard said, 30 is the new 20…maybe there’s some truth to that.

2 thoughts on “on the eve of a new year

  1. I’ve had a lot of similar thoughts lately. I’ve done a lot in my 20’s, but none of it was what I ever thought I’d be doing so it does make me wonder if I could’ve spent those years better, or what’s wrong with me that I couldn’t accomplish any of my goals. But then I think that, at 20, I just had no concept of what would be possible so I may have set unrealistic goals. A new career is scary, but it seems like you’re on the right track given that it’s what you’ve wanted to do forever. Also, your career change validates mine 🙂

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